#KidlitZombieWeek Guest Post with Justin Colón

Note from Sarah: Want a master class on revising your manuscript? Look no further than Justin’s advice below:

Something lurks deep within your hard drive.
The putrid stench of its rotting pages pervades the air.
It gnaws at your juicy brain for months and years on end.
Yet no matter how much you try to tame this unruly creature…
Each new draft summons another hoard of insurmountable problems.

Does this frightening tale sound familiar?
Then you might have…A ZOMBIE MANUSCRIPT!

Fear not . . .  Backup has arrived, and I’ve come bearing zombie-fighting tools! Below are some of the elements I focus on, issues I see, and strategies I propose to help revive the picture book manuscripts of the editorial clients I work with through The Kidlit Hive.

1.    PREMISE: To find the cure, we must first find the cause. That’s why we’re starting with the premise. Think of it as a roadmap or blueprint that guides you, the writer, and tells the reader what to expect. It’s a very snappy, general (yet hopefully hooky) big picture description—not a play-by-play synopsis— of what your story is about. Usually it highlights major story elements such as character, conflict, plot, and theme, conveying the story’s essence. 

Uh-Oh. Do you hear that?! It’s the moans and groans of zombie manuscripts. We have to hurry. 

In short, ask yourself the following questions: Is my premise fresh? What makes it fresh? Is it clear and concise? 

EXERCISE:  A great way to come up with premises is to begin with the question, “What if?” and then let your imagination go free! Take that “What if?” as far as you can. You can reign it in later. Can you convey your premise in a sentence or two? Give it a go!

2.    CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Who is your protagonist? What do they want? What do they actually need? How, if at all, do they change internally from the start to finish of the story? Does their arc feel seamless and woven into the story, or does it feel tacked onto the ending? 

Have you given us enough time with your protagonist at the beginning of the book to get to know them? A lot of times I find writers want to get right to the plot but don’t develop the character enough in those opening pages. We need to care about your character and feel invested in them somehow, even if they’re the villain of the story. Besides, the best villains are often the most dimensional characters who are the heroes of their own stories. 

Don’t neglect the other characters in the story either. There’s potential to flesh them out, too, as well develop some compelling relationship dynamics amongst your characters.

3.    PACING: Pacing refers to the rhythm and speed at which the story moves. How fast or slow is your manuscript moving? While slow pacing tends to be more common, the goal is not to rush through scenes either. There are moments when we need to slow down in the story? Sometimes because it’s a pivotal plot and/or emotional moment. Sometimes because we the readers need a chance to catch our breath. Look at the pacing at both the overall story level and the scene level. 

EXERCISE:

• Read your manuscript aloud.
  
•  Read your manuscript to others as well, especially children. Are there areas where you find their attention/energy waning? Areas where you find yourself trying to hurry through it to get to the “better” part? Or are there areas that feel rushed?
  
  Have a non-dynamic reader who isn’t as familiar with your story read it aloud. While assessing the pacing, also keep an eye on where they stumble, where their energy changes (for better or for worse), where they seem confused, misunderstand, and/or miss things. 
• Speaking of pacing, we need to keep it moving . . . these zombie manuscripts are gaining on us!
  

4.    PAGINATION: Pagination refers to the marking of page breaks in your manuscript and deciding what words will go on which spreads. It’s my secret zombie-fighting weapon. There are polarizing thoughts and feelings on whether writers should submit paginated manuscripts to agents and editors (I do). But learning how to paginate will make you a much stronger picture book writer, and your stories will benefit from this practice. Pagination can help you assess if there is much or too little text, including narration and dialogue, as well as determine the strength of the pacing, page turns, visual momentum, rhythm and cadence, and more. 

• EXERCISE: Paginate your manuscript and then remove all the numbering, leaving suggested page breaks. Now, do several passes of your paginated manuscript, each time combing through it with a focus on the specific elements mentioned above.

• NOTE: Are you trying to cram too much story into 32 pages? Can you distill and/or cut down your story more? OR, does it require 40 pages? There are PLENTY of 40-page picture books out there. 

• MYTH BUSTER: You CAN be a debut author with a 40-page manuscript/book. 

You’d be surprised just how many 40-page picture books are out there, too.

5. PAGE TURNS: Does each page turn compel readers to keep reading? Page turns can increase both drama and comedy, helping immerse readers in your story and keep them engaged and on the edge of their seats. Think about how you’re breaking up text, visuals and overall scenes/and spreads. As well as how you’re using punctuation, language, visuals, cliff hangers, suspense, and more to create these page turns. 

• EXERCISE: Go spread by spread in your book and assess each page turn and 

how you might amp it up. In addition, consider dummying out your book.

6.    TENSION & STAKES: Not all stories need stakes e.g. slice-of-life stories. Though, most stories do have stakes, which can help immensely with character development and the readers’ engagement in the story. As for tension, it’s great for creating drama and comedy and keeping readers invested in what happens next. 

7.    LANGUAGE & VOICE: If your story is in 1st pov with a child speaking, does the voice sound like it fits your protagonist. Many writers tend to make the voice too mature for a picture book-age child. Do your characters speak too much or too little? Is your text too sparse or too wordy? Does the language feel rich? Playful and/or poignant when it needs to be? Does it feel cohesive with the desired tone of the book? Does it make for a great read aloud? Nobody wants bland language. Add some seasoning in the form of literary devices such as similes, onomatopoeia, repetition? The list goes on.

Beware of using too many dialogue tags (a common issue I see in manuscripts). This can slow pacing down and become tiring, making you zombie bait. 

8.    SENSORY DETAILS: It’s easy to focus on what the characters within your story see. But that can create a stale experience for your readers. Incorporate the other senses, including smell, taste, touch and sound. This can help create a much more immersive world and experience for both your characters and readers. Also, you don’t need to say “I see” or “I hear”, or “he saw” or “she heard”. A lot of the time it’s more immersive if you just give us these sensory details directly. 

9.    VISUALS: Where can you say less with the text and let the art carry more weight? Lots of blocking/stage direction can bloat the word count and slow the pacing. We also don’t always need to see how a character gets from Point A to Point B. The same goes for describing characters’ body language and facial expressions. Art can carry some of the weight here. We also want to leave readers to use their imagination to fill in some of the gaps. Especially when working with sparse text, clarifying aspects of the plot. and working with humor. If you need to use art notes, use ‘em!

10.  TAKEAWAY: What do you want readers to get out of your story? What will they walk away with? What do you want them to know, to understand? That said, takeaway is tied to the deeper meaning of your story and is often more connected to the heart of the story. 

DISCLAIMER: This is not to be confused with teaching a lesson/message, which will likely be didactic. And that’s a big red flag.

11.  HOOK: Okay, I added an extra. And it’s crucial. Where will your book fit on shelves? What will draw readers to it? What will help set it apart in a crowded market? This is often what agents, editors, acquisitions teams, gatekeepers, and even readers are considering, consciously and subconsciously. It’s the bait that lures the fish, or the brains that lure the zombies.

A hook can be many different things, and your story doesn’t (and probably shouldn’t) have all of them: 1) A fresh concept/premise 2) A compelling character 3) Humor 4) Incredible language 4) SEL 5) STEM etc. 

Now go show your zombie manuscript(s) who’s boss! 

******

Thanks Justin! Who’s ready to unearth their zombies today? I have one and it’s a doozy! Can’t wait to use Justin’s advice to really give it new life.